My Life Before Meeting Bhagwan Shree Sanjay Sai Baba
Before I came to know about Sai Baba, I suffered from a severe illness. The pain throughout my body was sometimes so intense that I would cry. One day, a neighbor invited me to attend Sai bhajans, telling me that Baba’s grace would help me. At that time, I knew nothing about Sai Baba, but I began attending the bhajans.
Gradually, my health started improving. I joined a local bhajan group, participated in seva activities, and began singing bhajans daily at home. Eventually, my illness completely disappeared.
Six years later, my husband became seriously ill. He suffered from severe chest pain and vomiting. We had recently built a house and were going through financial difficulties. I borrowed Rs. 2,000, and rushed him to a hospital, where he was admitted to the ICU.
The doctors told me that he urgently needed medicine costing Rs. 8,000. I did not have the money. At that difficult moment, a nurse offered me a spare dose of the medicine and kindly allowed me to replace it the following day.
I felt this was Baba’s grace.
I prayed earnestly and promised Swami that if my husband recovered, I would conduct bhajans at home. After seventeen days in the hospital, he was discharged.
Later, with the guidance of Sai devotees, I took him to the Sri Sathya Sai Hospital in Bangalore for treatment. For the next six years, we returned annually for follow-up care, and by Swami’s grace, his condition remained under control.
During those years, Swami also began guiding me through dreams.
In one dream, He instructed me to stitch a robe for Him and later guided me on how it should be altered. Later, I offered it to Baba in Puttaparthi. In another dream, He reminded me of the promise I had made to conduct bhajans at home after my husband’s recovery.
Once, during a difficult period, I closed my eyes and prayed deeply. I then had a vivid vision of Swami walking towards my home through the familiar streets of my neighborhood. The experience felt so real that I immediately began bhajan, feeling certain that His blessings were with us.
My faith grew stronger. Through illness, financial hardship, family challenges, and uncertainty, Swami guided, protected, and reassured me. His love transformed my life and gave me the courage, strength, and devotion to face every challenge with faith.
I knew very little about spirituality, so I sincerely prayed for a Guru.
Meeting Shree Sanjay Sai Baba
During Guru Purnima in B.S. 2060, our local bhajan group organised a full-day programme. I was actively involved in the activities from morning until evening.
The following day, one of my relatives invited me to a bhajan at the home of Babita Sairam. My husband and I went there. We were told that a Guru was coming, and I joined the others to welcome Him.
When I saw Him, I saw a young, fair boy with a beautiful divine glow on His face. Suddenly, my whole body began trembling. After arati, I was introduced to Shree Sanjay Sai Baba. Baba materialized a locket of Sathya Sai Baba and asked me to wear it. Once again, my body began trembling, and I perspired heavily. Baba then asked me to sing a bhajan, and He Himself joined me in singing.
When I returned home, I excitedly shared everything with my neighbour, Purnima Sairam, and showed her the locket Baba had materialized. Instead of sharing my excitement, she scolded me! She warned me not to trust people so easily, saying that there were many fake gurus.
But two days later, something unexpected happened. Purnima Sairam came rushing to my home and said, “I must visit your Baba today!” I was surprised by her sudden change of heart. I contacted Babita Sairam. At that time, Baba was studying in Grade 10. Babita checked and informed us that Baba was at home resting because He was not feeling well.
We met Babita at New Road and went in search of Baba’s house. Although we walked through the same lane several times, somehow, we could not find it. Eventually, Babita had to leave.
Standing outside, I silently prayed: “Baba, please look out from the window. We cannot find Your house.” A few moments later, Baba appeared at a nearby window. He smiled and gestured for us to come.
We went inside, and Baba materialized vibhuti for Purnima Sairam. From that day onwards, we began attending bhajans regularly and gradually developed a close association with Baba.
Swami Comes to Our Home
One day, Baba said to me: “I will come to Shankhamul. Come and pick Me up.” Shankhamul was where we lived. The following day, I went to receive Him. On the way, Baba materialized a sweet laddu and gave it to me. When we arrived at my home, Baba walked directly towards the top floor. There was something very special and strangely familiar about His expression. Suddenly, I remembered a dream I had previously had. In that dream, Shree Sathya Sai Baba had entered the same room, walked upstairs, and smiled in exactly the same way.
I was deeply moved.
Thereafter, Baba frequently visited our home. Bhajans were held regularly, and gradually many devotees began joining us. Those were truly golden days.
We spent countless hours singing bhajans, listening to Baba’s teachings, and enjoying His divine company. Baba would materialize sacred objects for devotees. He often played the tabla, lovingly corrected the way we sang bhajans, and sometimes even cooked snacks for everyone.
On one occasion, while preparing curry, Baba stirred the hot food with His bare hand. I cried out: “Baba, your hand will burn!” He simply smiled and replied: “No, see!” He showed me His hand. It was completely unharmed.
Swami’s Protection
Once, Baba had travelled to Haridwar. During His absence, my husband became seriously ill again. On the third day, Baba unexpectedly returned. He said: “In a family of five, one member was about to leave. That is why I returned quickly.” I immediately felt that Baba was referring to my husband and that He had returned to protect him.
Baba then materialized two Shiva Lingams. Shortly afterwards, He became physically weak and briefly fainted. A few devotees gathered around Him and fanned Him until He recovered.
For me, this experience strengthened my conviction that Swami’s protection was always with our family.
The Ring I Offered to Baba
Later, Baba began visiting the home of Rukmini Sairam, where bhajans and satsangs were regularly held and increasing numbers of devotees gathered around Him. During these gatherings, Swami would sometimes materialize rings and lockets for devotees.
Seeing this, a desire arose within me: I wanted to offer something to Swami. But what could I give Him? I did not know what would be appropriate.
That very night, I had a dream. A lady appeared before me, showed me some rings, and asked me which one would fit. When I awoke, I understood the message. I offered Baba a gold ring bearing the image of Sathya Sai Baba.
Baba accepted it. Later, Baba told me that whenever He was not wearing that ring, it meant He had left the house.
One day, Baba called me to Rukmini Sairam’s home. When I arrived, I noticed that the ring was missing from His hand. I wondered about its significance.
During this period, Baba stayed at Rukmini Sairam’s home. Later, Shanta Sairam expressed the wish that Baba stay at her home, and He subsequently stayed there for approximately nine months.
Service at Mukti Nepal
During this period, Baba came to know about an orphanage called Mukti Nepal, where many children were sick and lacked proper food and care.
Baba immediately guided us towards seva. Together, we bathed children, cooked food, trimmed their nails, sang bhajans, and supported the activities of the orphanage. Gradually, we saw the children improving.
Then Baba instructed me to begin Bal Vikas classes. I was hesitant. I knew very little and did not feel qualified. But Baba encouraged me.
Every Saturday, the classes were conducted. On those days, I would wake up at 2:00 a.m., complete all my household responsibilities, and then leave for seva.
Today, when I look back, I sometimes wonder how I managed such a demanding schedule. The answer is simple: Swami gave me the strength.
Through Bal Vikas classes, Baba was teaching me the meaning of prayer, human values, meditation, sacred sounds, and spiritual principles. What began as service to children became a process of transformation and spiritual learning for me.
A Lesson in Honesty
During a blanket distribution programme, I once made a mistake. Before the distribution began, Shanta Sairam instructed that I set aside two blankets for two needy women. I hesitated but she convinced me that it was ok to do so.
Later, during distribution, two were found to be missing. Baba became very upset. I immediately realized my mistake. Even though my intention had been to help someone, I must not have done so. While returning after the programme, I somehow became separated from Baba and the rest of the group and remained alone for nearly an hour.
During that time, I came across a poor person begging nearby. I offered him some money in charity. Suddenly, I remembered that I should call Baba and the rest of the team to find out where they were.
Later, I felt that the entire experience had been a lesson from Baba—a loving correction that gave me an opportunity for Dosh Nivaran through charity and self-reflection.
From that day onwards, I understood deeply the importance of honesty, transparency, responsibility, and obedience in seva.
Lord Krishna in Pokhara
On one occasion, seven ladies travelled to Pokhara with Shree Sanjay Sai Baba. Before the journey, Baba materialized a small piece of garment and asked me to keep it safely. Later, while we were at the bank of Fewa Lake, He materialized a tiny crown and pearl garlands and again entrusted them to me.
That evening, just before bedtime, Baba called us outside. He asked us to gather sand and mix some soil with it. He then formed it into a mound. Baba inserted His hand into the mound. To our amazement, He brought forth a small idol of Lord Krishna.
The cloth, crown, and pearl garlands that Baba had materialized earlier were then used to beautifully adorn Lord Krishna. It seemed to us as though Baba had prepared everything in advance for the Lord’s arrival.
That night, we joyfully sang bhajans. The following day, Baba took one photograph of Sathya Sai Baba and produced seven copies from it with a movement of his hand, giving one photograph to each of us.
Baba instructed us to keep the Lord Krishna idol in our homes, moving it from one devotee’s house to another every month. Wherever the idol stayed, bhajans and kirtans were to be conducted. Baba said this should continue until an ashram was established.
We faithfully continued this sacred tradition. Today, that beloved Lord Krishna resides in the ashram, blessing all those who come for darshan.
The Ashram Begins
Eventually, Baba declared that an ashram should be established. Our first ashram began in a rented house in Shankhamul. On the very first night, although the house was completely empty, Baba chose to stay there. There was nothing except a thin mat on the cold floor.
The following day, devotees brought the basic necessities—bedding, pillows, blankets, and other items. Soon, bhajans, seva activities, satsangs, classes, and spiritual gatherings became regular features of ashram life.
Later, the Shree Sanjay Sai Sewa Organization was formally registered. Baba appointed me as Treasurer. I was frightened because I had no experience in accounting. But Baba taught me everything, from reporting to speech during general assembly of the organization. He told me: “You have to work for ten years.”
By His grace, I served as Treasurer for almost exactly ten years. I had begun with no knowledge of the work, but Swami patiently taught me everything I needed to know.
Through Every Challenge
Following Baba was not always easy. There were misunderstandings, criticism, family pressures, and many personal challenges. Some people tried to turn my husband against Baba and pressured me to stop associating with Him.
But by Swami’s grace, I remained strong.
At one point, my husband left home, but our daughter convinced and brought him back the very same day.
It was a deeply painful period in my life when some of my closest ones tried every possible way to prevent me from going to Baba. The emotional and spiritual turmoil affected me so profoundly that I became unwell for four days and endured intense and distressing experiences during the nights. Yet, through Baba’s grace, I was guided and protected.
During that time, I had a powerful and revealing dream in which everything became clear to me. The truth was unveiled, bringing me inner peace and strength. In time, those involved acknowledged what had happened, and I came to see this challenging phase as a test of faith that ultimately deepened my trust in Baba’s divine guidance.
Whatever challenges came, I felt that Swami’s protection remained with me. I could not leave Swami. At the same time, I knew that following a spiritual path did not mean neglecting my responsibilities towards my family. I therefore learned to balance both.
I stopped using money from the household budget for my seva activities. Instead, I began sewing clothes to earn a modest income. With those earnings, I was able to continue supporting service activities independently. This brought me immense peace, joy, and satisfaction.
With time, many relationships healed. Family situations improved, and even some of those who had once opposed my association with Baba gradually became accepting.
The Greatest Miracle was Within Me
When I look back upon my journey, I can see Swami’s hand at every stage of my life—guiding me, protecting me, teaching me, correcting me, and transforming me. I witnessed many experiences that I regard as miracles.
But today, I understand that the greatest miracle was not something that happened around me.
The greatest miracle was the transformation that happened within me.
I came to understand that Paramatma resides in every heart and that the many names and forms of God are expressions of the One Divine.
Through Naam Smaran, bhajans, meditation, and seva, I gradually learned that God is the true Doer and that we are merely His instruments.
Over the years, the spiritual practices taught by Swami helped me reduce my anger and ego and develop greater faith, surrender, patience, and inner peace.
Today, I try to offer the fruits of all my actions at His Lotus Feet. In happiness and difficulty alike, I feel His loving presence guiding me.
My children were also blessed to attend Swami’s youth classes, and today our entire family follows His path.
When I look back, I can now understand the deeper meaning of my entire journey.
Shree Sathya Sai Baba was my Guru. Through His grace and guidance, I came to recognize Shree Sanjay Sai Baba as my God.
This is how my Guru led me to my God.
Today, I live with gratitude, trust, and contentment.
Thank You, Swami, for guiding me, protecting me, teaching me, and transforming my life.
— Kamala Kayastha
